Such is Life


My entry for a screener fior mock parliament debate.

Good News: The screener made it.
Bad News : I lost all 3 debates in the first round robin parliamentary style debating.

The House will pop the pill and Party( Motion)

Respected Mr(s) Speaker,

1. Members of the Parliament (Henceforth referred to as MP’s) do not usually, let their hair down and those without any do not shake their paunch resulting in increased instances of violence within these esteemed precincts. MP’s use violence as a vent for their pent up emotions which result from bribers not paying on time, Gundas not breaking exact number of bones and needless pregnancies due to faulty contraceptives manufactured by relatives from their wife’s side, usually her brother.

2. It is about time, MP’s confronted their problems which strangely also include the people who elected them and some strange country which they represent. What country? Which people? Anyways.

3 a)Definition : The motion proposes to make it compulsory for all MP’s to once a week Come to Parliament, Pop any pill given to them ( which might vary from Vicks to Viagra) which would be determined by equations derived by nuclear scientists of this country who have been sitting idle after bursting two crackers some years back. (We believe some other cracker has been burst somewhere in the east. Never believe Easterners.)

3 b) After popping the pill the MP’s will be expected to indulge in theatrics, physical or otherwise with others or themselves ,making use of whatever little infrastructure is left in the Parliament.

3 c)There are so many chairs lying unbroken in the parliament, still these media people keep shouting about some or other infrastructure. I propose they should be called here during our Party perforce and dictated what to write. Of course this is the largest, strongest and most thriving democracy in the world

3 d) All doctors from AIMS will be called to administer first Aid or any further aids as might be the need of the hour. Take my word ALL will be here including their director

4. Logical Link: The motion is in accordance of our ancient principle vasudev kutumbkam, the whole parliament is our home and we shall tolerate only peace here.

5. Meanings of terms: Popping the pill would primarily mean as is mentioned in 3 a), Bhojpuri songs with cattle, oh sorry Jersey lead singers, may be added The concept of party is Indian and was forgotten many centuries ago, it finds mention in Harappa and mohenjodaro . It has no western connection; In fact it was our forefathers who gifted the concept of “party” to the westerners.

6. Case Statement: Take Pill Be chill.

7. A limiting context: The debate is open to anything but questions in the parliament.

8. The burden of proposition: We are the greatest nation. By Tautology this motion shall be the greatest.

9 Constructive arguments:
a) Chaos in the parliament and embarrassing behaviour, by MP’s which is looked down by fellow citizenry can be conveniently labeled party time.
b) If someday their has to be an Indian Guy Fawkes, Party time would be the best for him.
c) It might start a movement and the whole country might go into party mode, as some spiritualists preach anyway, and the country will be free from the jarring news readers monitoring stocks by the Pico second, Modern day yoga gurus who have taken away cartoon time from children and Military strategists who never fought even one war.